The Encourager
“Divorce: An Epidemic”
Divorce: An Epidemic
by Jeff Curtis
Why do marriages fail? I want to consider four possible causes.
- Marriage is not viewed as from God but viewed as a purely human arrangement. Our society must know that God ordained marriage. The home and the family originated by divine decree (Genesis 1:27-28; 2:18-24). Jesus said God joined the first couple for a lifetime commitment and that only He can give the reason to dissolve that union.
People may think that God has no authority over marriage. Many couples live together without the benefit of a marriage license. Others comply with the laws of the land but recognize no higher authority. But God’s laws are the authority, and they are for the betterment of humanity.
- Marriage is not viewed as a lifetime commitment but as a commitment until one decides to leave. Couple often take the marriage vow too lightly. We might expect this from unbelievers, but not from Christians.
Ignorance, therefore, can play a role in the failure of a marriage. Those who have been taught God’s plan for marriage may not even realize that the divorce and marriage that is so prevalent in society is wrong. People must be taught that God’s laws should prevail. God doesn’t approve of everything that man allows. We must obey the laws of the land (Romans 13:1-2), but only if they don’t conflict with God’s law.
- Marriage has no common spiritual bond. “Mixed” marriages were the plague of Israel (Ezra 9;10; Nehemiah 13:23-27). The problem was not interracial marriage, but mixed religious marriages. A Christian who marries out of his or her faith has a ready-made formula for disaster. Success stories are definitely in the minority.
Anyone who hopes to convert an unbeliever into a faithful Christian mate ought to do so before the marriage. Then he or she should wait long enough to be sure that the conversion is authentic before actually entering into the marriage.
- Marriage doesn’t include true love. Not all marriages are based on agape. Some are based on physical attraction alone. Others are based on financial security or social standing. People even marry for spite, but in the end, they hurt only themselves.
When couples genuinely love each other, any problem can be solved. Mistakes can be forgiven, and selfishness can be put aside (Ephesians 5:22- 29).
One common problem is a lack of preparation. Some couples, particularly young ones, rush into marriage without serious thought and preparation. Few things in life can succeed that way. A successful marriage requires physical, emotional, moral, financial and spiritual preparation. Realizing before marriage why some relationships fail can help couples avoid the pitfalls along the way to a lasting and happy marriage.
