Have you ever found yourself, in the midst of unimaginable grief, pain, heartache, or despair, wondering how you are going to make it through another day? Wondering where your next breath is going to come from? Your world has crumbled beneath you and has left you feeling shattered, empty, and hopeless.

And then a well-meaning friend or family member comes along and drops the infamous "Everything happens for a reason" bomb. You smile kindly and nod. That's all you can do to keep yourself from punching them in the face.

You can't possibly imagine a reason for what just happened.

The more you stew about a possible reason for your pain, the angrier you become. You try desperately to make sense of a situation that won't ever make sense. You reach for answers but none come.

I spent years searching for answers, trying to find reasons that would bring an end to my pain. I thought that if I could find the cause, I could treat the condition. But what I found through years of searching, experiencing, and living is that often there is no reason for why tragedy has occurred.

Sometimes bad things happen for no reason other than we are human beings having a human experience. Pain, heartache, grief, loss, disease, and death are inevitable parts of the human experience.

We hear people say "Life dealt me a ‘bad’ hand" as if pain and hardships are not the norm. We assume that life is supposed to be easy and when things don't go our way, we feel like we have been wronged. Human beings seem to have an innate sense of entitlement. We think that we are owed a pain free existence.

But the truth is that human beings are not exempt from the human experience. And struggle is an innate part of the human experience. None of us are exceptions to this rule. We all struggle. We all suffer. We all experience pain, heartache, and loss. And sometimes, there's just no reason other than we are human and pain is a part of the process.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was struggling to find peace with "God's plan" for her life including the recent death of a loved one.

"How could this possibly be God's will?" she asked.

Here's the thing about God's will. Are you ready for this? Listen closely:

God's will is not the path we walk, but rather how we walk the path.

God's plan is never for someone to have cancer. God's will is not for an innocent child to be brutally murdered. God's will is not for a teenage girl to be raped. God's will is not chronic pain, illness, disability, or death.

God's will is not an event that happens to us, it's how we respond to what happens.

God's will for us is to walk with Him through the cancer. Through the abuse. Through the death. Through the illness. God's will is for us to draw close to him in the midst of pain. God's will is for us to use our painful life events to carry his message of hope, grace, forgiveness, and mercy.

God's plan was never for pain to be part of the human experience. His plan was for us to live in peace and harmony with Him. The human experience became painful when sin entered the world. Our own free will weaved threads of tragedy, loss, heartache, and pain into the human experience

God is not responsible for our pain. We are not responsible for our pain. What happened in the Garden of Eden is responsible for the human condition. And the human condition is hard wired for pain and suffering. God is not causing us to hurt. He is hurting with us. What we do with our hurt is what matters. How we handle tragedy is what brings purpose into our pain.

There's hardly ever a justifiable reason for the bad things that happen in life. Tragic loss is not laced with inherent specs of good. I used to get so mad when people would say, "you can find good in every situation." That's just not true. There was nothing good about being raped. There is no good in murder or abuse. We have to create the good. We have to choose to respond in a way that brings good into an impossible situation. We have to choose to give purpose and meaning to our suffering.

Not everything happens for a reason. But in everything that happens, there can be a reason to bring hope and healing to others. God can use our pain for a greater good if we choose to let him in.

It is at this time in the life of David that he has been serving King Saul, but the King was envious of David and thus sought to put him to death.  David and King Saul’s son Jonathan were close friends indeed. Jonathan was seeking to find out if his father truly planned to kill David. So as the two friends discuss what Saul’s intentions were, they realized it was best for David not to come to the King’s table until they could further establish the intent of Saul. Jonathan states in I Sam.20:18 that David would be absent from the King’s table and that he would be missed. There was something about that vacant chair that caught the eye of others.  I want us to contemplate on one line of thought for a few moments. It is not complicated, it is not what one might deem profound, but it is something I hope we consider seriously.  Let us consider VACANT CHAIRS in our lives.

The Father’s Chair First, I point out to you the father’s vacant chair. Most men have a chair that is deemed their chair and it is their favorite. A person may be sitting in it, but when the man walks in they immediately jump up and say, “here is your chair.” Yet, the day came or will come when that chair will be vacant.  In your memories you see him sitting there laughing, smiling, or maybe a little impatient about something. Perhaps you recall him in his recliner telling you the same story a second time as he has aged and doesn’t remember so well anymore.  How many memories are we blessed with when we think of the father’s chair?  I trust if your father is still living and is seated in his chair, you don’t crowd him out. Enjoy the time you can with him and heed his wisdom. Store up memories the times as a child you climbed up in his lap to give him a goodnight kiss, to hear a story, or to have him play with you.  The chair may now be vacant, but stop and think of the prayers he may have prayed on your behalf.  Do you see an empty chair? Speak out old chair, thought vacant you may be!

The Mother’s chair Look around a little more and it may be that you find your mother’s chair. I wonder how many mothers have rocking chairs as one who tends to so many cares and troubles of her children. Rocking them steadily, soothing their tears as they sing their children to sleep.  How many in the days of your youth laid your head on your mother’s lap and she stroked your head as you told her your fears, troubles, and concerns?  Oh, in days of sickness how she stayed with you and cared for you. How many mothers rocked with tears streaming down their faces over their children’s wayward ways, love intensely burning within their heart, but pain over the decisions of their children? A mother’s love is one that is hard to imagine. Maybe that chair is vacant now, yet it should serve as a reminder of the teachings she tried to instill in you. Ever start to do something or go somewhere and think, “What would mother think or do if she knew I was here?” Those words may not mean much to you now, but when the chair is vacant you will wish you had spent more time heeding her advice, listening more, asking more, and learning more!  There was a young man that left home into a life of sin that broke his mother’s heart. While he was away she died and the son received a call to come home. When he walked into the room where the dead body laid, he looked upon her face and said, “oh, mother, what your life could do your death shall effect!” The man changed his life and came to Christ.

The Child’s chair How sad to see a vacant chair of a child. Oh the pain of a parent who suffers such a fate is tremendous. Such a vacant chair is heartbreaking, to have no kisses and hugs anymore, to no longer have their sweetness fill the air.  I know some who act as if they don’t like children.  Such won’t like heaven for such is the kingdom of God.

The Empty Pew Look around and see some empty pews today. Such is heartbreaking. Consider the Brothers and Sisters in Christ who have encouraged us and whom we loved greatly no longer here. That empty pew is hard to look at, they are missed greatly.

In Heaven There Will Be No Vacant Chairs!  Because the Throne of God is occupied, in heaven all God’s children will be around the banquet table! No one will be missed, but we will be together forever more.